Closing down

I realized I could not continue.

I sent refunds to all who subscribed. To everybody else, I sent this letter: 

“Hi Sharon, I’m bummed to hear that the magazine may not continue. Hang in there if possible! . . . I really would like to see the magazine continue and I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who feel the same.” – Gina H, San Francisco, CA 

“Sorry to hear about the big nasty. I lament the passing of RATW because it’s such a good idea. In sympathy + mourning” – Jill of Lone Wolf Records, Oakville, Ontario (one of my regular advertisers and really nice person!) 

“Sharon, Sorry to see you go. Thanks for all your help. Hope ya don’t get hung up on any debts from other labels. We’ll miss ya!" – Lee Joseph of Dionysus Records, Burbank, CA (another advertiser and overall nice guy) 

“Hello Sharon, I was very disappointed to read the card you sent me, For what it’s worth, I thought you did a great job publishing ROCK AROUND THE WORLD. I enjoyed reading it every month. R.A.T.W. will be missed! Good luck in the future.” – Michael H, Big City Bookings, Chicago, IL 

Thank you, everyone!

About the time the April issue would’ve appeared, had there been an April issue, I was down at my then-fiance's record store helping to stock inventory. Dave was behind the counter. Some guy walks in and very intently heads to the free publication section of the store. Not finding what he was looking for, he returns to the front counter and asks Dave if he has the latest issue of Rock Around the World. Dave tells him that it was no longer being published. OMG, the guy was distraught! “Nooooooo!” But then Dave said, “You can talk to the publisher. She’s right over there” – pointing to me! 

The guy looked confused. I don’t blame him. I probably didn’t look much like a publisher and he might not have known it was published in Portland. 

He stayed where he was but started going on and on about what an awesome magazine it was and it will be sorely missed. I can’t remember what I said to the guy except probably thanking him for all the praises and apologizing for not being able to make it work. 

After the guy left, I thought Dave had paid him to come lift my spirits! But that wasn’t the case. The guy was a genuine fan and I just happened to be in the right place at the right time when a true fan came looking for it. Thank you, true fan, whoever you were!

LIFE GOES ON 

Later that summer of 1991, Dave & I got married. 

I got invited to the International Pop Underground Convention  in Olympia, Washington, that August (which was a HUGE deal that people are still talking about!!) – an experience Gina Arnold beautifully captured in her book, “Route 666: Road to Nirvana" – but I was 2 months pregnant with bad morning sickness, plus too disinterested in the scene by that point to attend. 

That Fall I got a full-time job – my first adult job! – in no small part because of my magazine experience. I ended up as an art director at a commercial printer. 

My son was born the following Spring, March of 1992.

AND EVERYTHING CHANGED 

From the time I got pregnant in July of 1991 to the time my son was born in March of 1992, everything in our world of alternative music had changed. 

On September 24, 1991, Nirvana’s Nevermind  was released. And that was the inadvertent end of alternative music as we knew it. It was no longer the alternative to commercial mainstream. It had become the mainstream!

What followed was a greedy gold rush from major labels, hunting the next big thing, trying to cash in on the trend. It became gross and slick and the music all starting to sound alike to me (with some exceptions). And grunge rough-and-tumble clothing even became a fashion trend, appearing in Vogue and elsewhere. Where is the barf bucket when you need it??? 

The sudden change in the alternative music scene reminded me of the sudden change of the wall coming down between East and West Germany November 1989, thus ending practically-overnight the decades-long Cold War between the Communist East and Capitalist West. Except neither event had been sudden. Both events had predecessors leading up to those shocking moments that had been occurring for several years prior.  (See the  aforementioned book, "Route 666: Road to Nirvana"  which fleshes out everything that led up to that moment in September.)

While still doing RATW, I was already seeing a creeping commercialization of this alternative world, mostly in the form of marketing materials. Instead of the funky, hand-made press kits or truly authentically independent label “doing marketing differently than conventional society” materials, I was beginning to receive fancy, full-color, glossy promotional pieces that were the antithesis of the scene. 

After RATW folded, in a fit of anger against all this commericalization, I threw out every single photo and marketing material piece I had collected. I showed them!!! ...and today I really wished I hadn’t done that!!!! I would have all these cool photos to share! Instead I kept all the dry stuff, like my accounting sheets, whee!! 

I was sad that RATW didn’t work out. For a long time, I was embarrassed and hard on myself for not having succeeded, only recently giving myself the grace of accomplishment: I did that and it was pretty fucking cool! And it made a lot of people happy. I’m so wickedly proud of myself now! What a huge endeavor that was! No small thing at all. 

And I’m glad I got out when I did!